Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
