i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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