When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
