we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
