look no pants
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
