two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
