I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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