i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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