neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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