Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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