I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
