No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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