My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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