shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize