So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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