We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
