Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
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