Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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