i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
