wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
