Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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