just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I had to cum in my sink.
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