i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
