lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
