I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
