I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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