You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize