Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I cockslap morals
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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