A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
