Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
