Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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