u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
People in love make me want to vomit
you have to choose: penises or morals?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
