My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
