he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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