Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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