Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
