that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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