Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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