The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Boobs are out for the taking
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
