You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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