Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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