he wants to bone in the snuggie
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
