like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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