Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Come share oat with me in your robe
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
