Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
