Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize