There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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