Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There r osticjed everywhere
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
