he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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