woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
