Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
