He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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