i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
