forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
