I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
